This article is from the July 2024 issue of my monthly newsletter - The Newspupper! It's delivered monthly to your inbox. Sign up using the START HERE link on my website's menu. Every month, I share some thoughts on a topic that's been on my mind.
Content Warning: There are sexual elements to this story, so be prepared for them and if you don't want to read that sort of thing, you might want to skip this. Also, some aspects of the story have been fictionalized to protect people's privacy, etc.
My first experiences as a pup remain some of the most amazing and memorable moments in my life. For years, I had watched pups play at kink events, feeling curious yet unsure how to approach the community. I was fascinated by the overlap with my interests in bondage, sports gear, and other forms of role play. I was always too afraid to pursue it, because I was worried it was too silly, I was too old, and I had seen that pups were often not taken seriously as kinksters by some of the other longer-term leather community folk. After lots of looking, thinking, googling, and wondering whether I would give it a try, everything clicked when I met the right person to show me my dog side.
I had attended several Mid-Atlantic Leather (MAL) events over the years and decided that one particular year would be the time to dive into pup play. Over several months, I connected with puppies and handlers on Scruff, as my city had a small pup scene and I wanted to explore safely at MAL. That's where I met my first Alpha and Handler, whom I'll call Cutter here, though that’s not actually his name. He was transitioning from being a pup for a long time to an Alpha and Handler, eager to train and coach pups. Initially, our interactions were limited to the app, with him assigning tasks like sending him photos or videos of me doing pup things. As our connection deepened, we moved to texting, where he gave me instructions like playing fetch, doing certain things or wearing specific gear. These interactions excited and intimidated me, often pushing me into a submissive headspace, a feeling that was new and thrilling to me. Most of my experiences up until that point were as a dominant or peer-player (playing with people into the same things as me but without any power exchange).
As MAL approached, I felt both excited and nervous about meeting Cutter in person. I had shared my plans with friends and ensured I had a backup safety plan. Meeting Cutter in the hotel lobby, I felt an immediate interest and excitement – now I would say that my tail was wagging but at the time I had no idea of that feeling. I was nervous. We ended up not connecting after a few tries, and then he got more dominant and asked me to meet him later, and to show up “in pup mode,” which was exhilarating and nerve-wracking. At the time I didn’t have any pup gear of my own. Despite my anxiety about public perception, especially around the kink community's mixed reactions to pup play, I felt reassured by Cutter's presence and him telling me that he would watch out for me.
When I met him in the lobby in nervous and excited puppy mode, he put a collar and leash on me, and the click of the leash sent chills through my body. I felt like a dog – someone’s dog. He made me feel challenged, encouraged, cared for, safe, and like I belonged. We walked around, with me sometimes on all fours, and he introduced me to others as his pup. We interacted with other pups, playing and enjoying the freedom of not having to socialize in the usual way. It was liberating to just be a pup, feeling both seen and protected.Unfortunately for us, after playing for a little while the hotel staff eventually told us that being on all fours in the lobby was "too sexual," so Cutter took me to his room. There, another much more experienced pup joined us. Cutter had us play fetch, wrestle, and engage in other pup activities without using our human voices or words at all, just dog noises. The whole experience, from the playful interactions to the more intimate moments, was thrilling and affirming. Cutter's dominance and the sense of belonging I felt were profound, even when he set boundaries on our actions, like not letting us cum.
After our time at MAL, we spent more time together, including a weekend visit to his city. During my visit, Cutter treated me like a pup in public, ordering my food, giving me treats, and guiding me. Most people who weren’t part of our group probably wouldn’t have noticed anything different about us, but Cutter made clear that I was his dog and he was my handler. It felt both strange and incredibly hot, deepening my submissive feelings and our bond. We also explored other kinks, like watersports and more intimate pup play, always with clear communication and respect. In just a short few experiences, it was clear to me that this was something I wanted to do more.
My first experiences taught me a lot about trust, boundaries, and the joy of exploring new aspects of kink. Pup play isn't just about playing like a dog; it's a way of relating that is sexy, freeing, and deeply fulfilling. It allowed me to grow, explore my limits, and find a place where I felt cared for and valued.
Wag more, growl less! Awwwrrrrooooooo!
-Cooper
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